Whose Thoughts Are You Thinking?

Have you questioned yourself if you are thinking your own real thoughts?

I don't say that to be fucked up but be honest it’s hard to tell if you’re thinking your thoughts or just remixing someone else’s that you saw 47 scrolls ago on 1 min Tiktok and remember one sentence of the whole thing.

If you scroll long enough and your internal voice starts & external voice starts speaking like the videos you are watching so early in the morning and so late at night. Do you remember the one video where the woman is speaking in a Toronto accent and talking about leaving your mom's in the hood? It was so hard to not fake a Toronto accent for a week or even think like one after watching the video so many times. I reference this because within our own thoughts and mannerisms we tend to speak in borrowed syntax a lot from everything we are consuming.

Think about all the hot takes, half-baked affirmations, political outrage, "recycled original" thoughts that we've filled our brained with recently. It's hard to remember everything our brain is trying to filter through and reason with and all at the same time we are filling it with more and more with no end.

It's easy for so many people to say be yourself or think for yourself, but most never actually stop to ask themselves: what does “myself” even sound like when the volume of everything else is this loud?

Your mental space should feel like warehouse where ideas can be born, emotions can be felt, dreams can be watched and orchestrated, not a hotel lobby full of Dominicans blasting bachata and leaving their luggage behind. Yet we are so open and ready to let opinions move in, people share their drama, rearrange our thoughts and depositions, and then wonder why we can’t critically think or make hard decisions.

Also don't get me wrong it’s not that the world’s ideas are worthless or meaningless or people are stupid (some people are stupid). I do believe exposure sharpens perspective. But there’s a line between learning from others and losing yourself to their own thoughts and perspectives.

When you lose track of what’s truly yours which are your fears, your joy, your humor, your pace you start performing rather than living and you loose all connection with yourself. You wake up and consume shitty thoughts, You speak before you think because you’ve looking to fill the silence with something… anything but just silence. (and let me stop because it will get real specific for people)

Real practical advice is just to ask yourself questions without a phone in your hand and just write out and shape whatever comes to mind and continue to mull that over and over. Or just sit. Quietly. That works too.